Women hating men in GenZ dating pool

I found out my ex-girlfriend (18f) was cheating after the fact we broke up. She broke up with me because I got mad that she broke a promise and didn't want to speak to her for a morning. I was originally very distraught but eventually calmed down and we spoke mutually about breaking up. While having a respectful conversation about what we would like in the next partner she told me that she slept in the same bed drunk with another man. I asked her friends about it and they told me that she was initiating flirty conversations and being super touchy towards somebody whom I considered a mutual friend. When I found out I told her not to contact me I did not need any of my stuff back and then I mailed all of her stuff to her house. I haven't spoken to her since. That was Early-Mid May. I also want to point out that looking back on the relationship it was not healthy and nothing but toxic. I know I should've ended it sooner, but I didn't. She would hit me and draw blood and use my weed addiction against me saying she would tell my dad that I started up again. She would completely stonewall me when I had an issue but would interrupt me to speak her mind. She would throw fits when things were not about her such as telling me I ain't getting a birthday cake and I'm an “asshole” for accidentally finding out that she was baking one as a surprise or the time of my baptism when she told me she hated me and she wants me dead over her pants not looking "cute" yes I know I'm an idiot for staying but I will NEVER let a person treat me like this again or get in the way of the things and people I enjoy. In the last couple of weeks, I have quit my dead-end job to focus on losing weight for the military. I have already lost around 10 pounds. I've already got a 67 on the ASVAB and the only reason I have not gone too basic is because I can't pass a drug test. I have been drug nicotine and alcohol-free since we broke up and I just have to wait for the THC to get out of my system. I picked up my old hobbies that I forgot about such as playing the trumpet and playing basketball. I have also reconnected with some old friends that I honestly ditched for my ex. I love finding out who I am as a person and being him. One day I was at a Sonic and a girl (22f) came up to my car thinking that my car was her friend's car. After the initial shock and embarrassment of the situation, I made a joke about how she could eat with me in my car. That's exactly what happened. We swapped phone numbers and started texting each other back and forth. This happened towards the end of May maybe a week and half later the breakup. I would say that we are casually dating right now. We have been on a couple of dates over the last two weeks. Watched movies grabbed ice cream that type of thing. We have been calling each other little names like "darling" and "love". We don't do anything physical except kiss and hold hands. She's fun and impulsive and she's just as funny as my guy friends. When I'm around her I just feel upbeat and natural. I'm genuinely myself around her. I'm very sociable but I can be clumsy and awkward at times and every time that slips out it doesn't feel like a burden around her. She just laughs with me and adds to it. She goes to school, has a car, and a job which is more than my ex ever had. We both expressed that we are into each other, but we want to take it slow as well. In conclusion, I want to know if it's too early to move on to this new girl with the situation and the timing. I feel almost guilty, but I don't know if that's just because I have gotten used to abusive and toxic relationships. Thanks for reading and hearing me out! TL;DR; : Abusive ex cheated I already met somebody In a span of a month is it okay to move on? submitted by /u/Ok_Toe_1014 [link] [comments]

Every day, I see people giving advice on how to act in order to "attract women" — things like: Don’t show too much interest in the first few texts Delay your replies so you don’t seem needy Don’t ask about her too much or you’ll come off as having no life Avoid being “too nice” or you’ll give off “nice guy” vibes Always appear busy or hard to get Don’t express your true feelings early on Basically, the advice boils down to: be less available, act detached, and control how much you show you care — all to maintain a power dynamic or increase attraction. But I actually disagree with a lot of this. I think being your authentic self is more valuable in the long run. However, I also understand that some people go too far and end up becoming overly available or invested too quickly — which can also backfire. I want to strike a balance: How do you stay real and emotionally open while also maintaining healthy boundaries and not becoming a “simp” or a manipulative player? What mindsets or "rules" do you follow to be genuinely interested without losing your self-respect or identity in the process? Would love to hear thoughtful perspectives on this. submitted by /u/Pristine_Potential11 [link] [comments]

I (20M) never dated before, and just tried using tinder for a week before deleting due to anxiety. I was doing fine before, but I'm feeling anxious even after deleting the app. I kind of had an awakening that I'm alone and might not be able to find a partner (only got 1 match) stepping away from the app feels bad, I feel impatient and want to solve my problem right away I think I have some ocd issues involved. I sometimes think about scenarios where I confess my bad actions to my future partner, and wonder if they would accept me. I also worry about bad things I'm doing now, and if I try to be better it would only be for self interest I've been so focused on dating I've been putting less effort into my current relationships with friends and family. This makes me feel worse because I feel selfish and think about how my partner would view this Does anyone have any advice on how to start feeling better, or what you would do in my situation? I'm not sure if I should take a break, keep trying to date, or maybe speak to a counselor. Thank you! submitted by /u/Crafty_Slip_835 [link] [comments]

I made a post a few days ago about my marriage (original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1l1osxn/how_do_i_26m_explain_to_my_wife_26f_that_i_want/) and I wanted to say thank you for the overwhelming support I received. Since then I've reached out to some friends and a family member who lives nearby, and I'm planning to leave my wife when she's at work. That being said, I can't help but feel extremely guilty for leaving in that way. I've prepared a message to send her before I block her, explaining myself and my reasoning for leaving (because I feel it's not done correctly, but I can't go any other way). I'll miss the house, my animals and I'm sure even the comfort that the relationship gave me. I know being uncomfortable is impossible to avoid, but it's got me so anxious. The thought of leaving terrifies me, but after it's all said and done, and I imagine myself alone, I know I'll feel content and blissful. I know I need to do it, and it's the right thing to do, but it feels so wrong. We had a fight last week and she's been love bombing me, but I feel numb and just want out, but because of this I feel like a very shitty person. I'm afraid of life without her, though I know it will be better. In the mornings, I'm gung ho and excited for it, but in the evenings I have immeasurable self doubt. I don't know, are there any ways to curb the sadness/guilt I feel? submitted by /u/AnimalIntelligent797 [link] [comments]

I (26F) have been under an immense amount of stress lately. I’ve recently become a business owner which is a dream come true. I own a dog salon where I am also one of the head groomers and I love it so much. That also means that I basically deal with a lot of barking, loud blow drying and customer interactions ALL DAY. Despite the fact that I am very out going and personable, I am also someone who needs my quiet downtime. I need to decompress for at least 2-4 hours in the evenings after work. I love my Fiancée (27M), obviously. He can talk an ear off about just about anything and has a story for every occasion. And I love that about him! And a lot of times, he will have one sided conversations in which I can’t get a word in edge wise and he’s mostly just talking because he’s excited about something and needs to talk about it. He’ll go on for like 20 minutes, uninterrupted. I don’t want him to change at all. HOWEVER, when I get home from a long day, covered in sweat and dog water and dog hair, the last thing I want to do is sit down and be talked at for 2 hours. Granted, he is very bored atm. He’s starting a new job soon so he’s had a ton of down time and alone time at the house. I love parallel alone time, where we’re both quietly hanging out, watching a movie or gaming, but sometimes when I’ll be trying to game or browse Reddit or watch YouTube, he’ll start talking and I just don’t have the mental capacity to pay attention to him and then he gets upset saying I’m “ignoring him” which, yah I guess I am. Today, I almost lost it. It’s my first day off in almost 2 weeks because on my “days off” I still have admin work to do for the business. So today I don’t have any work and we’re going to a concert. Super excited but it’s still gonna be a lot for me so I’m trying to rest in the 2 hour car ride to the hotel. So we’re in the car and I’m clearly on my phone trying to zone out and decompress and he’s just talking and talking and getting upset with me because “im not listening.” I had to hold my tongue so hard because I’m not looking for a fight but I genuinely am so mentally exhausted and I just want some time where I can just mindlessly zone out and not be actively listening to something or someone. Especially when honestly, it’s a topic or story or opinion he’s told me about in depth SEVERAL times before. How do I express to him that although I love him and I love his stories and opinions, I need him to shut the heck up and let me zone or else I’m gonna SNAP??? It’s not his fault at all. I love him so much and I know I’m having this problem because I’m just at the end of my rope but he tends to take things super super personally and I don’t want him to take it as a personal attack. Anyone else get what I mean? submitted by /u/terpi0-0 [link] [comments]

Let me start by saying that I feel pretty firm in my decision to divorce but sometimes doubt myself. I was 4 months postpartum with our first child when I discovered inappropriate texts on my husbands phone between him and his coworker. I genuinely wasn't even looking for anything so I was completely surprised. I confronted him and he was extremely apologetic and agreed to go to therapy as I told him it was not negotiable. Well I ended up having to repeatedly ask him to start therapy and it took 2+ months from the time he promised. Obviously that hurt and then he only stuck with it maybe 3 months and said that she gave him a lot of insight and he was feeling better about what he needed to do to make things right. For a time things improved in our relationship but I held on to a lot of resentment and it made me notice a lot of other inequities in our relationship when it came to household things and child care. Resentment built and my failing was not being communicative about this. I don't know what sparked it but a little over a month ago I snooped on his computer and found several conversations between him and other women with explicit photo exchanges. My heart was pounding but then I just kind of felt resigned. I brought it up that night and asked him to leave. He says he has dealt with a porn addiction since his teens and it escalated after we went through the major life change of having a child. He doesn't put any blame on the fact that we had a baby as the reason he did what he did and says he has always been ashamed. He did not make excuses. We are now separated and heading for divorce but he sort of pleaded his case today asking if maybe we could consider couples counseling and remain separated but not go through with divorce. He swears he will continue therapy and he doesn't want our family to break apart. I can't say it didn't make me doubt myself but I also have no desire to fix things. I wonder if anyone else has experienced a situation similar to mine and if you stayed with your spouse, are you happy? Did you get past it? Or if you did go through with the divorce, do you have regrets? submitted by /u/Successful_B4796 [link] [comments]

I (29F) went on a first date yesterday with someone (35M) I met on a matchmaking site about a week ago. He seemed like a nice guy, but he came on pretty strong from the start. Like calling me cheesy nicknames and saying he’s always thinking about me and stuff, which I didn’t really like, but I wanted to give him a proper chance. Yesterday we went on our first date and from the beginning he was being really touchy, kissing and pushing my head on to his shoulder and stuff which I didn’t really enjoy, but didn’t mind either. Anyways after the date he insisted on dropping me off and I gave in and let him drop me off. While on the drive he was talking about all the plans he had for us and it was just too much for me. This morning, I was taking the time to think about our date and I wasn’t really feeling it and wanted to break it off before it got too serious. While I was thinking, he texts me that he’s at my door and he had left something for me… I was really freaked out tbh, isn’t it weird to show up unannounced after a first date? He had left some flowers and food at my door. I’m asking this here bc my family is acting like this a sweet gesture and men just do things like this to express affection. Am I overreacting or is this not too much after 1 date? submitted by /u/Wide-Cardiologist-15 [link] [comments]

My dad, for all his flaws, in fairness is objectively quite successful - he's a mid-level manager at a big investment bank and makes around £130K (in the UK, salaries are much lower - average salary is £30K - so even just clearing 6 figures is a big deal). He expects me to follow suit, but I'm not that interested in a corporate career. I'm weighing up entering law but to be a prosecutor, or being a teacher. My dad is vicious about his disagreement. He thinks those jobs are "soul-destroying", "useless", that I'd be stagnating my life, be eating from food banks, and have no quality of life. He sees anyone who works outside of STEM as below him (my brother wants to be a corporate lawyer and even THAT'S not good enough!). His approval usually doesn't matter to me, but the comments are getting to me. It's just not nice to hear someone think this way. Any advice? submitted by /u/NiceCaterpillar8745 [link] [comments]

For the first time we finally got together after a night out. We have the same friend group, and we’v always gone out, and we talk everyday (not a lot, just conversations here and there). Well we were drinking and one thing led to another and she invited me back to her place and lost her virginity. Now up until this point, I know she’s done other things with other guys, but never actually gone all the way. Her huge thing was waiting till marriage. We’ve both wanted each other and said that during…When I tell you it was the most passionate time, it was, but now I’m not sure what to do. In the morning, sober, we were just talking and cuddling and kissing & then I had to go. We haven’t talked any more than usual, about the same. Am I crossing her mind? She’s definitely been crossing mine. I feel like I’m insane thinking about her so much now. We work together, have the same friend group, and honestly she’s been on my mind and the whole thing that I’m not sure how I’d even show up to work since she just seems so unbothered by it. submitted by /u/theoneguyj [link] [comments]

I think this is more of question for women but... What is going on with the "my man plays video games too often" posts? Is this just my personal echo chamber? I'm seeing a ton of it. I play video games. I'm a 38 year old man and I run an online business. I spend *a lot* of time on the computer between work and play. I'm not currently in a relationship and I haven't looked in a while but when I do - has the climate shifted such that this will be a problem for my partner? I've been known to go on month long gaming binges. All the bills are paid - is it still a problem? submitted by /u/Able-Lettuce-1465 [link] [comments]

Long story short I messed up a in a long term relationship which we are working through and we are rekindling things as we go while living separately (our house is currently being renovated also) which is good however what else can I do for the love of my life to make her happy and feel comfortable etc? I just want her to feel loved by me and to be happy. Any advice/ideas greatly appreciated! Thank you all submitted by /u/hotdoginbrine69 [link] [comments]

So for a little context, I’m 26F and have just had my second baby with my partner 28M (10 weeks postpartum). When we started dating I was very skinny, I would say very underweight (about 95lbs) and always wanted to have a fuller figure. Fast forward to now, I am 175 lbs and have never been happier with my body. I feel like I hold the weight really well even though I am a bit chubby now. I’m still very active, I power lifted pre pregnancy and I started again 6 weeks postpartum and also took up kickboxing the past few weeks. I don’t struggle with mobility or feel unhealthy at all. So now that you understand the weight gain situation I need to ask- do I need to lose weight for my partner since he isn’t into my body type now? Am I selfish for wanting to stay this size? It’s been a point of contention the past few weeks because it came up that I don’t want to lose the baby weight. He has made it very clear to me that he does not find the extra weight attractive at all, and it’s unfair if I don’t lose the weight. I love my body though. We have two completely different opinions of what’s hot in a woman. He likes super skinny as I was pre pregnancy, and I have a super thick ass and legs now, with a cute little tummy (humble brag). I’d just like to hear an outside opinion on this because it’s like talking to a wall sometimes and I’m just told no, having extra weight is unattractive and it should be lost. submitted by /u/just_a_girl321 [link] [comments]

Sooo last year I ran into this guy I knew of, while he was at work. He messaged me after I left asking if that was me. We ended up talking and flirting and I went to visit him at work again. This was last year, around this time. We tried to "scare eachother away" by trauma dumping and he indirectly told me he was an avoidant. Things fizzled out after that but then 6 months later we reconnected and actually went to get tattoos together, then we never talked again. That was December. Now its June again & he replied to my story saying i look good. Said something else like "ik you see me creepin" and I just said "i dooo" then today he sends me another message like "i always wanted to shoot my shot with you but i heard some horror stories from our mutual friends" ummm what? Why are you talking to me then? Why would you say that to me? what am I supposed to do about it? I really wanted to say "lmao ok, believe them then" but my curiosity got the best of me and i said "lmao horror stories? What did i supposedly do?" He hasnt responded yet and its kind of annoying me. This is the 2nd man who has said something similar to me... other one was my ex saying im crazy, but this one has me stumped. The only mutuals we have are people I haven't spoken to or associated with in yeaaaars and couldn't possibly know me anymore. I keep to myself, I don't go out partying with everyone, i literally don't have friends & do everything alone. When I talk to someone, i focus on that person. I've had 3 boyfriends in my entire life & 1 of them is dead. The most recent one I was with for 7 years & we had a nasty break up but that was 2 years ago. Wtf could people possibly be talking about me, and why tf do men do this??? Just leave me alone if you want to believe what people i dont associate with have to say about me. What is that supposed to make me want to prove that I'm different? No thanks. submitted by /u/Equivalent-Crazy-333 [link] [comments]

What actually makes you feel desired or appreciated by a woman, whether it's something small or really intimate? I'd love to hear from your perspective...just trying to learn and understand a little better. submitted by /u/cocobuttababyy [link] [comments]

A friend of mine has pointed out a couple things that have got me stuck in my head; he has brought up that he thinks I'm too nice for my own good, that I apologize too much, and has even recommended I get my testosterone checked. Is this my friend subscribing to highly idealized versions of masculinity or is he just legitimately trying to give advice and I'm taking it wrong? submitted by /u/proles4weed [link] [comments]

Hi! I (f, 21) have never been I a relationship before and went on my first date yesterday. He was kind, but during the date I did let him know that I am a person who likes to take things slow. He seemed to be understanding for the most part. At the end I gave him a hug, and kind of felt like he wanted to do something more. I have never kissed anyone before so I was honestly not in the mood especially after one date. He texted me the next day asking if I wanted to hang out again (which I do). I’m scared that he will try to kiss me on date 2 and I’m honestly just not ready for that. I’m not sure if this is abnormal…I just really value friendship over being intimate. Any advice? submitted by /u/Emotional_Repeat_458 [link] [comments]

I'm a 40-year-old man, and she's 32. I've had this issue with previous women I've dated as well. Basically, I get very little sleep the night before a date, sometimes literally zero sleep - just laying in bed awake. It's mainly out of anxiety about the next day, particularly how lack of sleep can affect my libido and ability to sexually perform. I've been seeing this woman for two months, and it's going well. However, our sex life is not fantastic, in part because I'm sometimes not able to get and maintain an erection - I think due in part to lack of sleep. (and I use cialis too) Being sleepless shows up in other ways too. Eyes look terrible, skin is shallow, and I probably just seem off. For tonight's date (dinner and walking around a cool neighborhood), I'm considering just telling her that I have these sleep issues, to get it off my chest and hopefully clarify why I sometimes have these issues with arousal. Not making a "huge deal" about it, but just calmly telling her in a straightfoward way. Part of me thinks this will lessen my "value"/attractiveness in her eyes though, i.e., "wow, this guy is so nervous and into me, he can't even sleep!" But yeah, I look and feel like sh*t right now, and I'll probably perform poorly tonight in bed - again. What should I do? submitted by /u/Alternative_Hope122 [link] [comments]

My bf went to visit his female friend in her home country. They met over a year ago while he was studying abroad and became good friends (when they only knew each other for 2 months, they went on vacation together with another female friend, before we became official). She’s living in her home country again and he visited her for 6 days. He’s been there once before (last year with his other friends), but wanted to experience it with a local, his female friend. On the first three days her other friend tagged along. They celebrated his female friend’s birthday. He didn’t tell me he picked his vacation dates based on her birthday. The next two days he went on a trip to a city near the ocean with her. He told me the same day, that they were sharing an Airbnb but with separate bedrooms, because a hotel room would have been too expensive. We’ve known each other for almost two years, but have been together for over a year now. I told him I was uncomfortable with his vacation plans and that I don’t trust her because I’ve never met her and on pictures it looked like she’s always sitting/ standing close to him like she’s seeking closeness. He assured me they were just good friends and that it was just platonic. I’m so upset and angry for how he treated me. I told him my concerns and yet he wasn’t transparent with me. I feel betrayed. I don’t know how to forgive him, all I feel is anger and hurt. He has apologized and promised to communicate better from now on, but for me it’s not enough. I resent her. And maybe part of me resents him for it, too. Why am I not able to forgive him? And what can I do to achieve that? submitted by /u/YunaYunaY [link] [comments]