I (27f) have been with my fiancé (29m) for over 4 years now. We are supposed to get married in less than a week. I’m scared I’m making a mistake. I had no doubts about marrying him until November of last year. He is an only child and VERY close with his parents. His mom began buying wedding decorations without asking us. I privately asked him if he could tell his mom to okay decorations with us before buying anything. It turned into a huge blowout fight with him accusing me of taking the wind out of his parents sails for our wedding. Over the summer, his mom invited 25+ of her friends, family, and his dad’s friends that I’ve never met before. He did not stand up to her, because he “hated seeing her upset.” I realized his reaction toward me asking for his mom to confirm decorations with us, over my expressed discomfort at strangers being at our wedding, was vastly different. He picked up playing a new sport in January, something he’d always wanted to do but never could as a child. I have always been very vocal about my hatred of sports, but told him I’d support him if this is what he wanted. He became very upset when I had no interest in learning to play his sport with him, and that I did not care for watching it on TV. Every conversation about his sport now starts with him saying “I wish you liked _.” Or “I know you don’t care about ___, but.” Which I have told him to stop as he’s making me feel guilty for not having any interest in something he’s known for years is not my thing. I am big into running; he is not. I do not expect him to pick up my hobby as I know it’s not his thing, and am fine with keeping it separate. It’s frustrating he doesn’t see his sport the same way. He joined a pickup league and told me he would not be playing any games within 1 month of our wedding so he doesn’t get hurt. I told him many times, weeks in advance, I had plans with my friend. A few days before he realized my plans were on the night of his fame- a game he told me he would not be playing as it was within a month of our wedding. He’d decided to play last minute and expected me to cancel plans with my friend to go. He was very disappointed when I wouldn’t and brought it up frequently. He also told me he plans to play a game the day after our wedding. His schedule is very demanding and he works 24hr shifts, multiple days a week. When he was working a lot for our wedding, it wasn’t uncommon for me to see him once every 4-5 days. On our only day off together a few months ago, he said he was going to play a game in his league. I asked if he could plan a date for us the following week, if he was choosing to go to a game instead of doing something the two of us could do together. He got extremely angry and kept bringing it up. I then began realizing his enthusiasm and interest for his sport was way more than our relationship. 3 weeks before our wedding, my fiancé told me he intends on moving to a state 18 hours away and expected me to go with him. I told him I don’t have any interest in moving across states and that was never our plan. He has since made several attempts in changing my mind to move, despite me telling him multiple times I’m completely overwhelmed with wedding planning and don’t want to discuss moving across the country right now. He then gave me an ultimatum: either we could stay in the same house until we retire, or buy a new house across the country. The current house we live in, I have been very vocal about for about 3 years that I severely dislike and would like to move out ASAP. It’s an unsafe neighborhood, I’m not able to walk our dogs by myself, it’s far away from work, and the roads aren’t maintained in the winter making it extremely dangerous for me to travel to and from work. He is aware of my aversion to where we live and has told me many times leading up to this that he wants me to feel safe and that he would prioritize us moving. I told him a few days ago I would not stay at this house for another 20+ years, and I would not be leaving our state. He said if we move, he expects me to split everything with him 50/50 and that was the only circumstance in which we would stay. He pays for utilities. I have a car payment, insurance, and a phone bill. His parents pay all of that for him. I also pay for all of our groceries every single week. We split the mortgage. He makes more money than I do, and does not have as many expenses. He will not budge on this. There has been so much more leading up to this, but this has been the worst of everything leading up to our wedding. I am extremely afraid of marrying him and being bullied into moving across states, or screwing myself over financially. Everything in our wedding is paid off. No refunds as we’re so close to the date. At least $30,000 gone if I back out now. Not to mention, I have no where to go. I live in the house he bought before we started dating and my name isn’t attached to anything. None of my friends are in living situations where I could move in with them, especially because I refuse to give up my dog. My family isn’t in any condition to take me in either. I have no idea what to do. I feel so lost. I don’t know where to go from here. The other part of this is, we work together at the same department and I am certain that if I end things now he will make my life here miserable and I’ll be forced to leave. Does anyone have any advice on what to do? Advice that is simply “run” or “leave him” with no additional advice is not super helpful as I don’t have a way to. submitted by /u/Optimal-Mushroom-421 [link] [comments]