Am I too submissive?

I (29F) went on a first date yesterday with someone (35M) I met on a matchmaking site about a week ago. He seemed like a nice guy, but he came on pretty strong from the start. Like calling me cheesy nicknames and saying he’s always thinking about me and stuff, which I didn’t really like, but I wanted to give him a proper chance. Yesterday we went on our first date and from the beginning he was being really touchy, kissing and pushing my head on to his shoulder and stuff which I didn’t really enjoy, but didn’t mind either. Anyways after the date he insisted on dropping me off and I gave in and let him drop me off. While on the drive he was talking about all the plans he had for us and it was just too much for me. This morning, I was taking the time to think about our date and I wasn’t really feeling it and wanted to break it off before it got too serious. While I was thinking, he texts me that he’s at my door and he had left something for me… I was really freaked out tbh, isn’t it weird to show up unannounced after a first date? He had left some flowers and food at my door. I’m asking this here bc my family is acting like this a sweet gesture and men just do things like this to express affection. Am I overreacting or is this not too much after 1 date? submitted by /u/Wide-Cardiologist-15 [link] [comments]

My dad, for all his flaws, in fairness is objectively quite successful - he's a mid-level manager at a big investment bank and makes around £130K (in the UK, salaries are much lower - average salary is £30K - so even just clearing 6 figures is a big deal). He expects me to follow suit, but I'm not that interested in a corporate career. I'm weighing up entering law but to be a prosecutor, or being a teacher. My dad is vicious about his disagreement. He thinks those jobs are "soul-destroying", "useless", that I'd be stagnating my life, be eating from food banks, and have no quality of life. He sees anyone who works outside of STEM as below him (my brother wants to be a corporate lawyer and even THAT'S not good enough!). His approval usually doesn't matter to me, but the comments are getting to me. It's just not nice to hear someone think this way. Any advice? submitted by /u/NiceCaterpillar8745 [link] [comments]

For the first time we finally got together after a night out. We have the same friend group, and we’v always gone out, and we talk everyday (not a lot, just conversations here and there). Well we were drinking and one thing led to another and she invited me back to her place and lost her virginity. Now up until this point, I know she’s done other things with other guys, but never actually gone all the way. Her huge thing was waiting till marriage. We’ve both wanted each other and said that during…When I tell you it was the most passionate time, it was, but now I’m not sure what to do. In the morning, sober, we were just talking and cuddling and kissing & then I had to go. We haven’t talked any more than usual, about the same. Am I crossing her mind? She’s definitely been crossing mine. I feel like I’m insane thinking about her so much now. We work together, have the same friend group, and honestly she’s been on my mind and the whole thing that I’m not sure how I’d even show up to work since she just seems so unbothered by it. submitted by /u/theoneguyj [link] [comments]

I am happily in a relatively recent relationship, this is talking as someone who was recently in the dating pool and through experiences of friends. Has anyone else noticed a massive increase of women hating men in the gen z (specifically like 18-24) dating pool? You’ll get to know someone and then they’ll start saying the most incelish and sexist stuff you’ve ever heard. Even on dating apps and first dates some men will be incredibly open about it, I’ve even seen it on profile bios. Don’t even get me started on anonymous apps such as yikyak. I’ve also seen men in public and at college parties and classes say this kinda stuff. What is causing this increase? Is it an increase or has it always been there? Could it just be my location or sampling bias? It feels like 50% of the men in the genz dating pool hold these views. These men are making women afraid to date, and imo pose a safety risk. I know a few women who even stopped dating altogether because of this. submitted by /u/Katekat0974 [link] [comments]

I think this is more of question for women but... What is going on with the "my man plays video games too often" posts? Is this just my personal echo chamber? I'm seeing a ton of it. I play video games. I'm a 38 year old man and I run an online business. I spend *a lot* of time on the computer between work and play. I'm not currently in a relationship and I haven't looked in a while but when I do - has the climate shifted such that this will be a problem for my partner? I've been known to go on month long gaming binges. All the bills are paid - is it still a problem? submitted by /u/Able-Lettuce-1465 [link] [comments]

Long story short I messed up a in a long term relationship which we are working through and we are rekindling things as we go while living separately (our house is currently being renovated also) which is good however what else can I do for the love of my life to make her happy and feel comfortable etc? I just want her to feel loved by me and to be happy. Any advice/ideas greatly appreciated! Thank you all submitted by /u/hotdoginbrine69 [link] [comments]

So for a little context, I’m 26F and have just had my second baby with my partner 28M (10 weeks postpartum). When we started dating I was very skinny, I would say very underweight (about 95lbs) and always wanted to have a fuller figure. Fast forward to now, I am 175 lbs and have never been happier with my body. I feel like I hold the weight really well even though I am a bit chubby now. I’m still very active, I power lifted pre pregnancy and I started again 6 weeks postpartum and also took up kickboxing the past few weeks. I don’t struggle with mobility or feel unhealthy at all. So now that you understand the weight gain situation I need to ask- do I need to lose weight for my partner since he isn’t into my body type now? Am I selfish for wanting to stay this size? It’s been a point of contention the past few weeks because it came up that I don’t want to lose the baby weight. He has made it very clear to me that he does not find the extra weight attractive at all, and it’s unfair if I don’t lose the weight. I love my body though. We have two completely different opinions of what’s hot in a woman. He likes super skinny as I was pre pregnancy, and I have a super thick ass and legs now, with a cute little tummy (humble brag). I’d just like to hear an outside opinion on this because it’s like talking to a wall sometimes and I’m just told no, having extra weight is unattractive and it should be lost. submitted by /u/just_a_girl321 [link] [comments]

Sooo last year I ran into this guy I knew of, while he was at work. He messaged me after I left asking if that was me. We ended up talking and flirting and I went to visit him at work again. This was last year, around this time. We tried to "scare eachother away" by trauma dumping and he indirectly told me he was an avoidant. Things fizzled out after that but then 6 months later we reconnected and actually went to get tattoos together, then we never talked again. That was December. Now its June again & he replied to my story saying i look good. Said something else like "ik you see me creepin" and I just said "i dooo" then today he sends me another message like "i always wanted to shoot my shot with you but i heard some horror stories from our mutual friends" ummm what? Why are you talking to me then? Why would you say that to me? what am I supposed to do about it? I really wanted to say "lmao ok, believe them then" but my curiosity got the best of me and i said "lmao horror stories? What did i supposedly do?" He hasnt responded yet and its kind of annoying me. This is the 2nd man who has said something similar to me... other one was my ex saying im crazy, but this one has me stumped. The only mutuals we have are people I haven't spoken to or associated with in yeaaaars and couldn't possibly know me anymore. I keep to myself, I don't go out partying with everyone, i literally don't have friends & do everything alone. When I talk to someone, i focus on that person. I've had 3 boyfriends in my entire life & 1 of them is dead. The most recent one I was with for 7 years & we had a nasty break up but that was 2 years ago. Wtf could people possibly be talking about me, and why tf do men do this??? Just leave me alone if you want to believe what people i dont associate with have to say about me. What is that supposed to make me want to prove that I'm different? No thanks. submitted by /u/Equivalent-Crazy-333 [link] [comments]

What actually makes you feel desired or appreciated by a woman, whether it's something small or really intimate? I'd love to hear from your perspective...just trying to learn and understand a little better. submitted by /u/cocobuttababyy [link] [comments]

Hi! I (f, 21) have never been I a relationship before and went on my first date yesterday. He was kind, but during the date I did let him know that I am a person who likes to take things slow. He seemed to be understanding for the most part. At the end I gave him a hug, and kind of felt like he wanted to do something more. I have never kissed anyone before so I was honestly not in the mood especially after one date. He texted me the next day asking if I wanted to hang out again (which I do). I’m scared that he will try to kiss me on date 2 and I’m honestly just not ready for that. I’m not sure if this is abnormal…I just really value friendship over being intimate. Any advice? submitted by /u/Emotional_Repeat_458 [link] [comments]

I'm a 40-year-old man, and she's 32. I've had this issue with previous women I've dated as well. Basically, I get very little sleep the night before a date, sometimes literally zero sleep - just laying in bed awake. It's mainly out of anxiety about the next day, particularly how lack of sleep can affect my libido and ability to sexually perform. I've been seeing this woman for two months, and it's going well. However, our sex life is not fantastic, in part because I'm sometimes not able to get and maintain an erection - I think due in part to lack of sleep. (and I use cialis too) Being sleepless shows up in other ways too. Eyes look terrible, skin is shallow, and I probably just seem off. For tonight's date (dinner and walking around a cool neighborhood), I'm considering just telling her that I have these sleep issues, to get it off my chest and hopefully clarify why I sometimes have these issues with arousal. Not making a "huge deal" about it, but just calmly telling her in a straightfoward way. Part of me thinks this will lessen my "value"/attractiveness in her eyes though, i.e., "wow, this guy is so nervous and into me, he can't even sleep!" But yeah, I look and feel like sh*t right now, and I'll probably perform poorly tonight in bed - again. What should I do? submitted by /u/Alternative_Hope122 [link] [comments]

My bf went to visit his female friend in her home country. They met over a year ago while he was studying abroad and became good friends (when they only knew each other for 2 months, they went on vacation together with another female friend, before we became official). She’s living in her home country again and he visited her for 6 days. He’s been there once before (last year with his other friends), but wanted to experience it with a local, his female friend. On the first three days her other friend tagged along. They celebrated his female friend’s birthday. He didn’t tell me he picked his vacation dates based on her birthday. The next two days he went on a trip to a city near the ocean with her. He told me the same day, that they were sharing an Airbnb but with separate bedrooms, because a hotel room would have been too expensive. We’ve known each other for almost two years, but have been together for over a year now. I told him I was uncomfortable with his vacation plans and that I don’t trust her because I’ve never met her and on pictures it looked like she’s always sitting/ standing close to him like she’s seeking closeness. He assured me they were just good friends and that it was just platonic. I’m so upset and angry for how he treated me. I told him my concerns and yet he wasn’t transparent with me. I feel betrayed. I don’t know how to forgive him, all I feel is anger and hurt. He has apologized and promised to communicate better from now on, but for me it’s not enough. I resent her. And maybe part of me resents him for it, too. Why am I not able to forgive him? And what can I do to achieve that? submitted by /u/YunaYunaY [link] [comments]

Is it necessarily a bad thing? i really don't know. But its pretty clear that when we get in a fight we have triple the amount of sex we were having prior for a few weeks. Then it winds down then a month or so later the cycle seems to repeat. Maybe it feels like it repeats because we are going through normal conflicts long term relationships go through at this age go through. I do get the sense sometimes that little things escalate really hard and fast because of her reaction. The last fight/disagreement we had was something I brought up based on her behavior and actions. I wont go into it but all I really wanted was some accountability and an apology. She gave me a little one then said "can we just skip to the makeup sex" and just pounced on me. I feel like a big dumb dude because I fell for it but the week or so after I just felt a little empty. Like I wasn't being heard or taken seriously. And she got away with it all with sex. Maybe I should still take it as a win? I won't deny it still brings us closer and it brings us back into the honey moon phase for a bit which is a great feeling. But I hope she doesn't think she can always get out of taking accountability with sex. submitted by /u/Altruistic-Head-2228 [link] [comments]

Let's talk about money management, please. I need to know how to secure myself financially, because I'm all I've got. I am not counting on getting married. I don't have any assets and I am my biggest liability. Any advice is welcomed. Little background story: -I got scammed out of money with crypto in 2022 and I got into debt, which I am still paying back. I have been able to stabilize the situation. I have come to a point, where I was able to afford myself a solo trip in March and I don't have any big expenses. I am not doing nails, I don't have any upkeep to my hair and etc. I only have a gym membership subscription (which is important for my mental health); I do pay some amount of rent to my mother (so not to be a freeloader); and I enjoy an occasional dine out and I like to buy some books here and there. Uhm, the dining out/ordering food is actually quite expensive and half my money goes on there- it is spending money out of comfort more than anything, but I think it is damaging me more. I do have an investment account, which I want to look more into. Trading is actually fun! I have a steady job (I am a little worried about 2026, but we'll see, but that's also one of the reasons why I want to manage it a bit better); I am HORRIBLE with saving money. I am better off loading all my money to my investment account. I don't even know how to save. How much? When? Should I open a new bank account? Should I have a pension fund? I guess my goal would be getting tips on how to manage my free money better and get my spending under control or just HAVE more money by the end of the month- each month. Right now is the time for me to get serious and I have a possibility to make better choices, so anything you could point out or advise on, please. Can be even your own psychology behind money. I am sorry if I am being confusing. Money is not my friend. submitted by /u/This-Cookie5548 [link] [comments]

I (34M) have been single for quite a while now. A number of relationships have failed, because I have a daughter (16F) who I have been raising by myself since she was 2, and potential partners were put off at having a relationship due to the fact that my daughter came as a package deal. Fast forward to now, and a recent reunion with my former teenage sweetheart (note: She isn't the mother of my daughter)... She is the cousin of my best friend, and we were reunited at my best friend's wedding. We instantly clicked and spent the evening reminiscing about our past together, and we were having a wonderful evening. Everything felt right, and I started to feel my old feelings reignite for her. By the end of the night we kissed, and we've since met up 2-3 times a week. We've spoken about our feelings for each other and we want to give our relationship together a second go. The only reason that we broke up the first time around was because of how young we both were and how neither of us were mentally mature enough at the time for a committed relationship. But we've both grown and matured since those years, and we both now have a better understanding of our emotions. I've always felt as though she was the one true love of my live, and I have spent years regretting how our immaturity in our youth made us drift apart. But I feel as though this is a kind of fate at work and that we're meant to be together. We've been given this opportunity, and neither of us want to waste it. However, we both also have concerns about the complications that can arise from rekindling a relationship with a past love. I am wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation, and what advise you can give? Thank you very much! Oh, and a side note. I have already spoken to my daughter. She wants to see me happy, and she fully supports me on wanting to rekindle this relationship. submitted by /u/Professional-Duck927 [link] [comments]

Almost every post about dating has this advice among the top. That you shouldn't worry about relationships, instead enjoy life by yourself. So how does one do it? As far as I know, love and sex and one of the most enjoyable things in life a human can experience. But okay let's overlook that for the sake of argument. What are fun activities you can do alone? And how can I enjoy them if I don't care about the activity itself. submitted by /u/crowbarguy92 [link] [comments]

Where do you meet women who are also serious about dating — outside of the apps? Is cold approaching still a thing? If so, how do I do it without being weird? I’m an Indian guy in the U.S., early 30s decent/cute-looking (so I’ve been told), and ready to date more intentionally. I’m not into flings — I’d genuinely like to meet someone and see where it goes, ideally toward a meaningful partnership. I know apps exist and social clubs/events help, but I’m curious submitted by /u/Worth-Scientist-9628 [link] [comments]

I have two young sons five and two . I take care of myself physically working at six . I also eat healthy and rarely drink . I don’t really wanna go to bars and stuff. I’m worried I’ll never find someone else. submitted by /u/Repulsive-Dealer7957 [link] [comments]