Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/Nx2tcYDeFw Thank you to everyone who reached out. It helped give me (27M) much-needed perspective. I wanted to give an update. I wanted a fuller picture before making a decision on anything with my fiancée (29F). I knew her friends/bridesmaids would be a lost cause. I get along with them, but they're more of my fiancée's friends, and their group runs deep. They weren't going to talk at the expense of my fiancée. I asked Joss (29F) for more info and for evidence to her claims about my fiancée hooking up with someone on their girls' trip. She said my fiancée avoided talking about that particular trip, especially over text. Most of their arguments were in person, but she showed me texts from shortly after the trip where my fiancée confirmed hooking up with the guy. She texted how "it's in her rearview mirror" and she "doesn't need a lecture about the past. She's focusing on the future." I knew the possibility, and my fiancée already confessed to seeing other guys during our break, but idk seeing those texts made it real in a way it wasn't before. In the texts, she expressed regret, but it didn't make me feel better. I confronted my fiancée and I knew immediately by the look on her face. She came clean on everything. She thought Joss deleted the texts. Around the break, we were having serious talks about marriage. She started worrying she was missing out on stuff her single friends were engaging in. During the break, she sought validation from other guys and fooled around with that guy on the girls' trip. In her own words, she had a temporary high when he chased her but felt worse about herself post-hookup. She claims the break showed her what was important and that she wasn't missing out on anything. She was reassured we were right for each other. I hardly said anything to her. I mostly just listened. I was too numb for much else. She kept asking me to say something, but what was there for me to say? I felt her actions spoke enough for us both. She kept apologizing for stepping out. When I asked her why she wasn't upfront with me, she said she didn't want to lose me over her biggest mistake. Her position that Joss isn't being noble hasn't changed. I told her Joss's motive doesn't matter; the truth is the truth. She asked if I could find it in myself to move past this. She said she loves me and she's fully committed. I couldn't tell her what she wanted. I said it was best the wedding be put off and I needed space to sort my feelings. She was against postponing and proclaimed this didn't have to define us, and she's still the same woman I wanted to marry. She asked me not to give up on us. But the same way her mind was made about the break, my mind was made on postponing. It wasn't a choice. It wasn't so much a fight, more putting everything out there. She cried a lot. She rarely cries. It felt wrong to leave her crying. My first instinct was to comfort her, but I was too broken to fake it. I've been hurt before, but she hurt me in a way only she could. I know postponing the wedding is for the best. The reason why I didn't call it off entirely is because I'm way too much in my emotions right now. Hurt, anger, sadness, and somehow numbness. At all possible, I try to avoid making decisions lost in emotion. I need to clear my head. I was so sure of my course and our relationship. My fiancée was my partner in every sense. She was who I wanted to make a life with. Sometimes she'd act so superior about our relationship compared to those of her friends. I feel so stupid. She says she's still the same person I love. But the fact is she had a secret life I knew nothing about. I'm trying my best to understand that, but I'm at a complete loss. I'm not sure if I can move past this. All the guests have been informed of the postponement. Some questioned why, but I've been vague. I'm just too embarrassed. I feel bad for the guests too. Some with limited means already booked flights and hotels and took time off work for our wedding. That's how far we were in the homestretch. In some ways it doesn't feel like my life. We were just together, wedding planning and discussing the honeymoon. The honeymoon was a surprise destination for her, someplace she's always wanted to visit. Now we're here. Idk where to go or what the future holds. Thanks to everyone again for the support. It means a lot. TL;DR An update for: My fiancée's and my relationship has blown up after she had a bad falling out with her Maid of Honor who told me not only did my fiancée see other guys while we were on a break, but she also hooked up with someone on their girls' trip. My fiancée confessed to seeing other guys on the break but denies hooking up with anyone. She's accusing her friend of trying to sabotage our relationship. We fought, and I told her I needed space. Ever since, she's been pouring on so much affection. We're in the middle of wedding planning, and now this mess. I'm lost and questioning everything. Idk what to believe anymore. How do I move forward for myself and my relationship? submitted by /u/ThrowRALongshotFray [link] [comments]
Update: My (27M) fiancée (29F) was accused by her friend/Maid of Honor (29F) of stepping out on me. My fiancée claims she's trying to sabotage our relationship. I'm lost and questioning everything. How do I move forward?
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- 2025-06-07 04:20 event
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