I’m burnt out from dating but I feel like people don’t find good LTR partners by not dating?

I usually don’t come to Reddit for advice but truth be told I want some advice from so non biased people. My gf went to Canada for a getaway vacation with some friends and her brother. Not long into the trip she came down with a horrible UTI and was bed ridden for the first few days. Context here, she’s had a kidney transplant and when something like this gets out of hand it can make things extremely difficult for someone in her shoes. I’ve talked with her a little and convinced her to go to the hospital based off symptoms not getting better. I’m grateful she asked her brother to take her and even more grateful that she’s on the road to getting this thing sorted out. What I’m not ok with is being absolutely helpless and anxious as to not being able to be by her side. I understand that the situation is completely out of my control, but feel horrible. I’m normally not someone that sits by my phone and waits for updates but I keep finding myself checking my phone and praying I hear from her or her brother. Side issue, I did ask her brother to keep me informed. Not once during the evening nor the morning after did I receive any information about her being admitted. The only information I did get was that she had a kidney infection. Whilst all this is happening I see that he’s out continuing his vacation like nothings wrong. I wasn’t around whilst she went through her transplant but I know he was and to brush something like this off bothers me. I know I don’t have all the details but based off of assumption it seems like he doesn’t care. I’d hate to point any fingers as like I said, I’m unsure of anything. I guess the advice I’m looking for really comes down to how I go about keeping in contact without coming off as too overbearing and needy for any new developments. The last thing I want is for her to think I don’t care. Another thing I don’t want is for her to worry about me while she has all of this going on. I’ve called once 3 days in a row and sent maybe 5 texts. I know she’s weak and in pain so I absolutely don’t expect anything more. I just want to know how to love her better in a moment like this but you don’t really think about something like this until it happens. At the end of the day I just want to know she’s alright and it’s frustrating that the one outlet I thought I’d have in this situation left out some VERY crucial information. If you read all of this and give any feedback just know I really appreciate it. submitted by /u/Over_Revolution_4303 [link] [comments]

I just learned that the girl I was working with and have been basically flirting back and forth with has a boyfriend. I no longer know what to say, I’ve been told she had a rather flirty personality so she’s probably just being nice, and admittedly I do have problems with differentiating Romantic and Platonic talking. So I don’t know if she is actually flirting or just being nice. Honestly as a not really good looking guy, I think she is just being nice but I do really like this girl. So, I don’t know what to do submitted by /u/Griffin_Gm [link] [comments]

Feeling emotional right now and not sure what kind of response I’ll get. But hey I’m on reddit, I’ll take it like a big girl or delete the post if shit hits the fan. I’m genuinely confused about men’s perspectives of sex and women and what standards women should hold men to. You got men that say women who have sex are toxic, rebellious and wild and do not deserve redemption if they want to change bc they don’t take their standards seriously. Then you got men that say putting sex on hold is unnecessary (I don’t mean only waiting for marriage) and body counts don’t matter as long as there is mutual interest and respect. Or if the guy likes you or not you should just take the risk of getting your heart broken if he ghost you the night after just like a guy is risking his resources just to date a woman. I understand listening to men for insight but who am I suppose to believe bc I feel like I’ve tried everything. I’m at a point where I genuinely don’t know what mutual interest looks like. The men I like never want me and the men that want me I just see as a friend. There’s this guy I knew who would have been the type of person I’d go for but I just couldn’t feel any romantic interest and it saddened me trying to give a rational reason to feel interested. I thought maybe I was being shallow and just needed to open up and give him a chance but I couldn’t. But then when I’m with a guy I like, I try to bite my tongue and try not coming off as desperate if he doesn’t call me, respond to messages right away or idk is cheap on dates (idk women are told it’s a red flag and still not sure if it’s true or not but I can’t help but notice a pattern myself). And I tend to question that waiting for sex isn’t important as long as I think the situation is going well. But now looking back, I was being somewhat manipulated and I knew to a degree but didn’t want it to be true. I rarely meet men I’m interested in so I tend to have a habit of wanting to hold on to them for dear life knowing I won’t find anyone else for another long while. I’ve never been quick to fall in love. Didn’t matter how attractive he was. I rarely have celeb crushes. I’m also wondering even if I decide to raise my standards and not make the same choices I’ve made in the past, do I deserve another chance in the dating market or am I too damaged? I don’t think I’ve become jaded, just confused how I should date and what I should give a pass. I also need to accept face my feelings of not feeling desirable, good enough for relationships and taking whatever comes my way just because I like someone. It’s done me no good and I’ve grown anxious from it. I’m not bitter about men, just not sure which men I should listen to. I want men to listen to women’s needs so why not listen to men you know? Like how long do I have to wait till I find a mutual connection? Feels like I won’t find anyone till I’m 90. Like where do you find men to like that actually want to date you? And how will I know if he’s putting in the appropriate amount of effort because one thing about me, I’m going to bring my dish to the table. I’ll always express genuine care and interest and it hurts when it’s not reciprocated. submitted by /u/Waxflower8 [link] [comments]

First of all, I don't live in an English speaking country so I may make some spelling and meaning mistakes, thanks for reading.18 I am 18 years old, I am preparing for the university exam in my country, I took it once but I was not successful (This exam is held once a year in my country.) However, I wanted to try again, my situation was good during the year. (I am preparing to enter the medical faculty.) But for the last 2 months, I have collapsed psychologically, both my studies have worsened and I have gained a lot of weight. (271lbs) Since I have been studying for this exam for 2 years, I have restricted my social life a lot, I had an average physique before preparing for the exam, I quit sports to prepare for the exam, I was normally social in high school, but I never had a girlfriend, and when I added these 2 years on top of it, I was completely overwhelmed. While my peers were traveling and having fun, I spent the best years of my life, I think I'm wasting my youth. I used to see myself as self-confident, competitive, brave, masculine, but I don't see myself like that anymore. I live with my family, although they are understanding, I am very ashamed of them, after all, they spend money in this process. Finally, as an 18-year-old (I will be 19 in October.) I feel lame, depressed and insignificant, I am in a really bad situation, I want to sleep and not wake up. Also, there are 13 days left for my exam and I don't seem to be able to score what I want. How can I get out of this bad situation I am in and become a strong man again? Or am I late in life? submitted by /u/Specific-Breath4892 [link] [comments]

I will often have things in boyfriend’s room that is girly or cutesy or his room will end up smelling like perfume because i sprayed some. We both think it’s ok but his friends kind of clowned him for it and said they wouldn’t let that happen to their rooms. I don’t really care about their opinions but now I’m curious on how other men might feel towards it. submitted by /u/FriendlyBranch3035 [link] [comments]

Hi! It’s my first time here and I wanted to ask a question. So yesterday, on the last day of school I had my first kiss with my boyfriend, it was a short but sweet peck on the lips and my hands were extremely shaky after.. I just wanted to know if that was like normal and maybe hear from other people’s first kiss too! submitted by /u/No-Macaroon9250 [link] [comments]

I had posted about a situation a while back. Before we dated, my now ex put all these standards on me. One was losing weight. I didn’t listen to you guys. I lost the weight and kept seeing him. Well I ended up pregnant and he convinced me to have an abortion. I still kept losing weight. Lost 30lbs but even then that wasn’t enough. He ended cheating on me. Last night was rough for me. I dwelled in my feelings and felt so sad mainly about the abortion. It’s been close to two months now and I’m still thinking about him. How do I move forward? I have fallen into a deep depression and can barely shower or go to work. submitted by /u/PurplePurple_1 [link] [comments]

My boyfriend (22m) and I (23f) are in a long distance relationship, we play video games and watch movies together almost every day when we have free time. We also have a lot of online friends that we have met through video games and are very close with. So, tonight I told my boyfriend that I will be watching a movie and he told me to wait for him because he wants to join and I wait for him for an hour, but once he joined my call he invited our two other close friends and said that we can all hang out together. I don’t mind if they join at all, we watch things together very often but tonight I wanted to watch a movie either by myself or with my boyfriend. Those two friends say they don’t want to watch a movie and would rather play a couple online games or watch a tv show for like an hour, but they don’t mind leaving and doing that by themselves since my boyfriend and I already had plans to watch a movie. My boyfriend says that he will join them to watch a tv show instead of watching a movie with me because he really wanted to watch that specific show. So I leave the call and I’m obviously unhappy, he made me wait for an hour and then ditched me for our friends even though they said they can watch that show later together. So I text my boyfriend saying: Me - Please tell me next time if you decide to alter our plans, I wouldn’t have waited for you if I’d known you’ve invited our friends to do something else. I would’ve started watching a movie by now. Him - They messaged me and I thought we could watch something together. Me - Idm that you want to watch a show with them I just didn’t want to wait almost an hour for you and then plans change and now I’m watching a movie by myself. Him - I didn’t plan to watch a show I wanted us to watch a movie together, but they didn’t realise the time. That’s all. Me - Okay, but they did text you and you made two different plans with both them and me at the same time so I’m just asking you next time to tell me. Like I don’t care, I just wasted an hour waiting around. Him - Well, no I had the plan in mind that we’d watch a movie and I even told them that I wanted to watch a movie, and u weren’t just sat waiting around for a hour, u were playing sims? And u seemed in no rush, I know ur in a bad mood but this is literally nothing. Me - Okay but you still changed your plans for our friends and what does sims have to do with this? I was only on it cuz I was waiting for you and it is nothing yh, but I’m just asking to be informed next time. Him - Alright. Me - Cuz I just got my hopes up cuz you said you’ll join and now you’re not so it kinda sucks so just tell me next time pls ty. Him - Okay. Me - You’re not even going to apologize or anything? Alright goodnight love you. Him - I wanted you to stay u were the one who left. And I wasn’t the one who changed plans it was our friends. I’m sorry you’re in a bad mood but ur just making this out of nothing. Me - I was in a good mood after playing valorant and after you said you’ll join me for a movie but you did this and it wasn’t our friends who changed our plans or did anything, you’re the one who ditched me so don’t put blame on them. I just wanted you to apologize for making me wait around for an hour and then ditching me. Of course I’m going to be hurt if you do that. Him - I’m sorry I made you wait, but again I had no idea they wouldn’t want to watch a movie. Me - Okay? I had no idea anyone else would be joining, I thought it would be just you and me. Would you be happy if I ditched you to hang out with someone else after telling you I’d hang out with you? No. Him - Well no cause if u offered to me to do something with u and them id just do it. Especially in this case. Me- Right, ok. Him - I’m sorry for making u wait but this becoming a bigger deal than it needs to be. Me - You’re sorry for making me wait but not for ditching me, to you it’s not a big deal but to me it’s just rude. I cba trying to make you understand so have a fun time, I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Him - Goodnight I love you. End of text messages. To me it just feels like he’s refusing to take accountability for wasting my time and bringing my hopes up while also blaming our friends for it. submitted by /u/Ok_Employer_3186 [link] [comments]

We haven't been together long, just six months. I've realized that we aren't compatible. I was giving him a lot of grace for being "behind," in life (not having a license/car, no credit, being super underemployed) since he was getting sober. But I've realized a lot of things won't get better. He frankly has a very childish view of how finances and life works. And before you ask, NO, I'm not looking for a man with money. I just want to be on the same level with my partner and be able to talk to them about things like insurance with explaining everything... Here's the problem. He has a TBI (I suspect this is the source of a lot of these issues tbh). He's been having seizures lately due to stress in meeting rent. I've tried to help him (ie don't spend money on fast food, go to food banks, set aside money each paycheck for rent...nothing works). He won't even try to find another job because he likes the one he has. I know I can't help him with this. I know he really likes me and I'm only going to be adding onto this stress. But I'm just not in it anymore. I was just going to tell him that I'm overworked and don't have time for a commitment right now, which is kinda true. I'm just worried I'm going to make his situation worse. :( submitted by /u/AssistantOwn4208 [link] [comments]

I've seen the posts about what guys prefer as to a lady and her lady bits. Whether does the guys like it shaved, trimmed or natural. So as a guy, for the women who read this. Guys if your wife or GF asked you to shave or neatly trim your twig and berries. What is your answer? submitted by /u/Different-Excuse5331 [link] [comments]

I have been thinking lately and that I am 27 and am in need of self improvement. Needless to say that I am not the type of guy who girls are attracted to and interested in. This begs the question. What does self improvement look like? and How do you know where to self improve and what to self improve? submitted by /u/Mountain-Elk8133 [link] [comments]

I try to meet them within a week from texting (so I have enough time to get to know them and decide if I actually think I’d vibe with them in person) but I’ve been talking to this guy and we were supposed to go out tonight but he texted me earlier saying he has to work over time. The plans were made last night so it’s not like this was planned for awhile. I don’t think he has any reason to lie either. He also doesn’t text much throughout the day, just a bit if he’s on break or a little after work, which is different from what I’m used to as if I’m interested in someone I try to text them a little bit more throughout the day. so how long would you wait? submitted by /u/littlebigrose09 [link] [comments]

Hey there, I’m 16M and feel like the only guys I see being called attractive online are pretty much hairless except for some leg hair. This is has kind of gotten in my head a bit and wondered if I should start shaving. My chest hair hasn’t really came in too thick or darkened too much yet but it’s enough to be noticeable, a patch in the middle and some hairs around my nipples. I’ve also noticed recently some hair growing on my upper back that annoys me. Seeing a lot of my peers also being hairless (or hiding their chest hair) has also made me a bit self conscious and I don’t even go shirtless at the pool (partially because I’m self conscious of my weight and partially because of my chest hair). The thing is I like my chest hair and want to let it grow thicker, especially since I live in the Midwest where men having chest hair is a bit more common than other places. How do you men feel about your body hair now? And if you like it was there ever a point you were self conscious, and how did you get over it? submitted by /u/CherriEtc [link] [comments]

I always see people say they like thicc/curvy bbw. But when I see their 'type' usually the bigger booty/boobs. Skinnier waist/little chubby. What about the women with all the fat in other places? I lack a booty and nice boobs. And all my fat is in my tummy. What about body hair on women? submitted by /u/Ok-Coconut6163 [link] [comments]

Girlfriend car got written off, she got a unsecured loan for the vehicle and when she gets the insurance money for it, she thinking about getting another vehicle for the same amount she paid for, however she still have 10k to pay on top of her old loan. She wants me to cosign, but she going to be in school with no job for about 4 months. I’m making the argument that she needs to paid off her old loan with the insurance money she’ll get for the car and then use the remaining money as well as some of her savings to buy a older used vehicle instead while she’s in school. Now she’s upset that I won’t cosign for her. submitted by /u/Mental-Stealth [link] [comments]

New Edit: My boyfriend’s response is posted below in the comments per his request for those who desire to read “his perspective”. New edit 5pm MST: I have deleted my post in the abusive relationship advice subreddit due to my boyfriend becoming very upset that I posted screenshots that had his name in them. It was not my intention to do so I just genuinely am ignorant. Edit: I have seen some comments that made me feel it’s necessary to clarify, I (I guess arguably) do not dress in anyway that would be considered not feminine, I wear skirts and dresses often etc. the clothing in which is being deemed masculine/manly are crop top shirts that have short sleeves that are not rolled up but like sewn to be that way, boyfriend fit jeans or jeans in general honestly. I am also modest so I don’t show much, but the at doesn’t mean I don’t dress cute or feminine etc. I don’t think I am required to wear a full face of makeup everyday to be feminine and I don’t, especially not to sit at home by myself and do nothing. Now to add, if I dress in a way he approves of and finds feminine, and were to leave to do anything like that, I am then trying to attract attention or am “going out looking all pretty for everyone else and people are going to hit on me”. I don’t know how to better convey that the masculine/manly dress/presentation of myself doesn’t actually exist. It’s very confusing really because I don’t understand what I’m doing incorrectly and genuinely feel like there’s truly not a right answer? Hi guys, my boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. Our relationship started well and has progressed through challenges a lot of which are the result of need for growth and learning. I want to preface by saying my boyfriend is a terrible communicator, but he has good intentions and doesn’t mean to be as hard and cruel as he comes off. My question is, am I wasting my time at this point? Am I ignorant and or naïve? There are a lot of things at play. We are navigating our communication issues with large improvements and get stuck on non communication issues. My boyfriend doesn’t think women and men can be friends which I loosely agree with. Now this applies to our issues as I am not the most girly girl, and my hobbies and interest don’t aline with those of most women, the world I live within as far as things people do everyday and participate in etc are mostly male dominated things etc. I have had a very sheltered life and did not make friend’s growing up and don’t have them as an adult and making them has been a strong desire of mine. When discussing my desire for friends it’s immediately turned into me just wanting to be friends with guys which I do my best to move away from because it has nothing to do with anything I am just wanting friend’s in general and am not seeking out male friends what so ever. (In case it’s pertinent, I build race cars, fabricate thing, build things, and other things more equally gendered like the gym, hiking, etc. I also do not entertain men, if I am completed while out etc I meet them respectfully back with “oh my boyfriend loves that to” or a variation that applies, I am a modest person, I do not use social media or post online etc.) There are also challenges with time I am not with him, if I go do some thing (which is rare honestly) regardless of what it is I am doing, he expects me to communicate with him (about nothing because I don’t have anything to say like neither of us do) constantly throughout my time out. I want to be able to participate in whatever I am doing and the need to be talking to him while I’m away from him makes that impossible, and if I don’t he gets upset and will blow me up and call me names etc. I was trying to talk to him today about how I feel some our our reasons maybe come from me not feeling comfortable or safe to be myself with him, as in reflection I have realized I have made changes in accommodation to his reactions and strong negative opinions on things etc, and his response was that he didn’t want a masculine girlfriend, that I should work out more on my butt and less on my arms, that the clothes I like make me look like a dike (long crop t shirts that come with the short sleeves like rolled once and sewn that way, and boyfriend fit jeans, I also train horses so flannels/button downs are common and he feels those are manly and masculine). He said he “doesn’t want people to see us and think why is he with a lesbian”. He said he’s attracted to me when I wear dresses and makeup because he is a straight man, and not so much when I don’t. He believes that guys only want to fu** me, and are incapable of being friends, that they are just waiting in line and there’s no other reason they could desire friendship. I don’t even know why exactly I’m making this post and it likely is difficult to read, hard to fallow, and I apologize for that. I guess I want to ask am I delusional? Am I/my opinions the problem? Is he right? Do I need to work on myself and why I think and feel the things I do? Thank you for your time. submitted by /u/WestIncident7728 [link] [comments]

I am 33F, divorced, no kids. I started dating again about a year ago and it feels like the only men who are genuinely interesting to me have been older, in the 40-50 age range, I find myself attracted to them as they have been more mature, relaxed and confident with who they are and what they want and are looking for. I met a guy who is 48, he is kind, hard working, we enjoy each others company and share similar interests and values. Sometimes though, I feel insecure with myself and being enough for him as I am so much younger and have experienced so much less “life” and when I look at our lives long term, it feels like we are in different stages of life, he is very set in his routine, he has older kids and at a different stage in his career. For those men who have had relationships with younger woman, what are some of the struggles you faced, were they easily overcome? submitted by /u/justsomewine [link] [comments]

So I went on a date with a younger guy and this was my first date in a while. We met through a dating app and we had been talking for like a month. We hadn’t met up cause of our schedules. Finally met. The date was kind of rushed cause we went late and didn’t realize the restaurant he suggested to go to closed within an hour. So it went well and throughout the night he kept saying he wanted to bring me back to that spot because it’s better during the day I kept saying ok. So the date went ok. He didn’t really look like his pics but I was willing to look past it lol. As we walked back to our cars he made a comment that I didn’t text him all day and I told him I didn’t because we were gonna see each other anyway after work. I think it bothered him. But anyway we get to my truck and he kind of waited there and it got awkward and so I just said well it was nice meeting you and gave him a hug then left 😂 I texted him when I got home and told him thank you for the date and he said no problem sorry it was late etc. The next day I texted him but at night and told him hey how are you and he never replied. He still has me on social looking through all my stories but ignored me. What happened? Is it soft rejection? lol I’m just confused cause he kept repeating he wanted to come back with me. Idk if was towards the end where I told him bye. Or maybe he didn’t like me. Any thoughts? submitted by /u/insideoutburger_ [link] [comments]