We tried to have a baby for two years, I was told we couldn’t conceive without medication due to PCOS, etc. We had many failed attempts at pregnancy and I pretty much let the idea go that we wouldn’t be having a baby. With a bit of a surprise, last fall, we found out we were pregnant and I was pretty shocked, to say the least. I had a complete freak out, didn’t know if I wanted to keep the baby, worried about our marriage, finances, and my husband constantly reassured me that things would be great and we should be excited! He was thrilled when I told him, like way excited and somewhat confused by my reaction. I was freaking out daily and he said he was going to step up, take care of everything, reassured me our marriage would be stronger than ever, we would be more connected, help with the house (it’s in bad shape, needs some serious help with paint on popcorn ceilings, huge piles of clutter we need to go through, just a lot), would be supportive and helpful with my pregnancy (like rubs and runs to the store for late night cravings) and we wanted to do a partner-supported birth process which includes a lot of hands-on husband involvement and a 12-week course. then he got laid off. Without going into too much detail, we ended up having to downsize vehicles, really dial it in with finances, and we became extremely stressed with a baby coming. At the same time, all of his involvement with the pregnancy disappeared. He gave me more affection and attention before the pregnancy and my hormones make this feel so incredibly personal. He is no longer attempting any intimacy, sexually or otherwise. No cuddles at night, no rubs, no asking about baby updates, lots of video game time, lots of spending time on his phone, he’s told me many times that he needs to decompress and I feel more alone and lonely than ever before and I’ve been talking to him very openly about this. I have a great therapist and my husband and I have had a lot of discussion involving these sensitive topics. I have a lot of empathy for his position and stress, but I feel completely unheard in my role. Then today, he tells me he spends a lot of time on this sub, and feels so bad for the women who are being gaslit, lied to, etc. He seems so involved and invested in all these relationships online, meanwhile, our marriage is on fire. I told him that upsets me and he tells me “I’m not doing anything wrong” which isn’t untrue, but I am so hurt by this empathy for other random women online while I am in my most insecure, vulnerable state and he knows it. I know I’m probably leaving out some things but I hope I can find some help or advice somewhere. I spend so many nights crying myself to sleep, sobbing in the shower, reading baby books alone, and just hoping that things will get better. I’m supposed to be relying on him for a lot of support during labor and delivery and I feel so abandoned. Help? submitted by /u/xnightwolflivesx [link] [comments]